"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."

December 30, 2008


now, hmm, really busy. busy on what? who care. SPM is coming, no mud fe onlne, rarely blogging, miss a lot of things, need some space to be alone, sick having a plastic friend, shld i call "friend"?, nagged by a lot of people, focus on study, chemistry is the craziest subject, + math i cant be gud in dat! ohh im stupid, =.="

haihh, a lot of thing happen to me, but i cn tell u, hmm, did i too snstf? haihh, my lyf now full jealousy kot, i want to be that, this, i not be grateful fo what i've now. mcm sial kan perangai? i dont know lately nieh, i da chage pn, i thank GOD have such this beautiful lyf, evntgh not really full of happiness, but i've no regret. (;

hmm, buhbye my blog. i gonna miss u. ohh, i'll update once a week mybe. (:


December 28, 2008

7 songs.

1. Selepas Kau Pergi - Laluna.
2. Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson.
3. Nothing Last Forever - Maroon5.
4. I Will Remember - Ryan Cabrera.
5. Fine - Bunkface.
6. Memori Tercipta - Shila OIAM.
7. Unlove You- Ashley Tisdale.
heee, Move On lahh cepatt!

December 25, 2008

lately, currently, and now.


"dekat laut ade ikan yu,
ohh luna i love you. :DD

tawu tak, luna bce smue cmmnt2 yg dlu, hmm, i read all of dat, dlu en, luna ske tgk hani nye page, tp luna ta brani tego, kdg2 brani, tego lah, sbb luna takot hani tamao kwn ngn luna. ye lah, luna spe en, tp ble kenal hunn, luna rse hunn best sgt lah, (; and seingat luna lah, 1jun2008, 1st tym kte cmmnt byk2, and 27july2008 bru kte byk share2, ((: memory uh indahhh sangat.

hmm, dlu en, almost evryday kte comment each other. and hani ske ttbe ckp "sayang luna", wahhh, i miss d old time, i really miss the memories! hmm. and luna nk ckp nieh, i never found friend lyk you hani, serious, i feel good when i know you, u best sgt! did u noe dat? u mmg terBEST lahh. lg2 ble share ngn hani, i rse betol2 oke mse uh, cpt je mud luna brubah jd baek blek, cpt je luna senyum blek. (: ily lah! luna sayang sangat kat hani! <3

now en, luna rse pelik gyle ble on, no more hani, hmm. nk on pn tade mud.
hani, if u got prblm, u sedih, u sakit, u rindu org, u nk shre, u nk kwn, u nk ngadu k, i'll be there okai, haihh, pokok nya,

i miss you, NurAmirahHani!


December 24, 2008


Da a year dah, 24dec is d date,
haih, sorry,
i cant accpt u back lah.
its hard and hurt my heart everyday
in this year,

i work so hard to mve on,
smpy crush into sum1 lah, mcm2 lah,
im so sorry, i noe,
i owe u heart,
but i cant give it.
tym has changed me, to be sum1 stronger,
and tym will change ur heart gak,
1 fine day, will come,
dun ever worry about dat.

Que Sera Sera,
What Will Be Will Be.

this is fe QQ,

December 21, 2008

unlove you. )':

I fell in a perfect way
Never had a choice to make
Crashed into your tidal wave
I didn't even struggle
Sailed right through your atmosphere
Closed my eyes and landed here
I didn't see the trouble
And I didn't care

I can't unlove you
Can't do that
No matter how I try
I'll never turn my back on
Someone who loved me too
I can do most anything I have to

But this one thing I cannot change
I almost kinda like the pain
Wear your tattoo like a stain
And it will take forever
To fade away

I can't unlove you
Can't do that
No matter how I try
I'll never turn my back on
Someone who loved me too

I can do most anything I have to
But I can't unlove you, no
Why would I want to, oh
I can't unlove you
Can't do that
I'll treasure
Get through this
Why would I want to

There's always time for other dreams
Why must we erase these things

I can't unlove you
Can't do that
No matter how I try
I'll never turn my back on
Someone who loved me too
I can do most anything I have to

I can't unlove you
Can't do that
No matter how I try
I'll never turn my back on
Someone who loved me too
I can do most anything I have to
But I can't unlove you


December 18, 2008

Its mine bday!

1. Zaqwan.
2. Amirah Hani ku syg.
3. QQ
4. Nisha ku manje.
5. Mia ku tersayang.
6. Memek sis ku.
7. Eyra ku kenit.
8. Sara ku gegendutt.
9. Amir.
10. Fara ku blurr.
11. Seyha ku Bisengg.
12. Haikal.

13. Akmal.
14. Fiqa kuh.
15. Piqa ku Barney.
16. Sakinah ku cinta.
17. Helmi.
18. Afiqah.

yg laen da pnjg sgt nk list.

Thx fe d wish ppl!


December 14, 2008

December 12, 2008

Dear Diary

i got i sweet love story!
lets read it!

Text Pal.

My cellphone's beeping sound woke me up one night. Used to receiving important messages only, I grabbed my cell and sleepily pushed the keys and read the message.

"Hi there! Care 2 b my txtmate?"

Not knowing who the sender was, I deleted the message right away and placed the phone on my bedside table, I tried to go back to sleep.

I had just closed my eyes when I heard the message tone again.

"Hi there, again! Care 2 b my txtmate?" again, the message said.

"Who the hell could this be asking for txtmate at the wee hours of the night?" I asked myself.

Again, without bothering to reply I deleted the message.

I was never a 'textmaniac' - someone who enjoys texting anyone and everyone even at the wee hours of night, not to mention during the day. My parents, who were always out of the country forced me to own a cellphone. They told me that having one was more convenient - they could monitor me even if they're miles away.

I wanted to turn the unit off, but since my mother was fond of calling me at night, just to check if I was safe at home, I decided not to.

Just as I was to close my eyes and return to my dreamless sleep, the phone beeped again.

Same number...Such determination!

"Ply reply 2 dis msg & b an angel & save me frm dis abyss of emptiness!!!"

I never knew why, but the message struck me. I got up and pushed the keys... I just realized I was replying to the message.

"Im not an angel, n f u want som1 2 save u, m not superman... I'm just a simple prson who u wake up at dis r of my nyt!!! Nway, do I know u?" I typed.

Seconds later came the reply.

"Nope. U don't know dis lonely soul. Nor does she know u. But I want 2 b ur frnd. I'm Mikaella Cervantes. U?"

"Just call me Julius. How'd u get my no.?" I sent back.

"Hi Julius, nice 2 meet u. Just shuffled the last two digits of mine," she replied.

That was the first and maybe the last time I met someone over the cellphone.

We exchanged messages and learned so much about each other that night. We only said goodbye when my alarm clock rang at 5:00 AM! I had to prepare for school!

And that was also how it all started. A day would not pass without it loving and thoughtful messages from her. It was only then I had learned to appreciate text messages and become eager and excited everytime my phone beeped, hoping it would be her.

Mikaella brought out something about me that I never knew I had; I realized I could also be a romantic person... even if it's just through text messaging.

"Keep me as a frnd & I will keep u in my heart. Lock it up & throw away d key so dat no1 can evr tke u away from me..."
One day, she sent this message to me.

I replied: 'In life, we seldom find a true prson & f u evr find 1, hold on & nvr let go... value dat prson coz it's lyf's gift worth keeping & holdin on..."

I never knew why, but her response sent shivers to my spine, " Value d people hu hav touched ur life bcoz u will never know just wen dey will walk out of ur lyf & nvr come back again."

I couldn't understand what I felt that moment, but one thing I was sure though... I could not go on a day without a single word from her. I'd become used to having her, eventhough we had not met personally. But truly, she already occupied a space, a large one, in fact in my life.

I texted her back. "Dont come close f l8r ull jst pass by; don't touch me f l8r ull jst let me cry; dont luv me f l8r ull jst leave me and won't stay..."

I didn't know why I sent her that message, but somehow I felt, every word came from my heart. In the short span of time we were sending messages to each other, I knew, I was starting to keep her in my heart.

I called her once. The voice on the other end was like an angel's. Soft, kind, full of love. Yet, there was something in it I couldn't define. We only talked for a few minutes. Before she hung up, she told me not to call again. According to her, it would be better if we would just text each other.

But the voice kept ringing, not only in my head, but in my heart, I'd long to hear it once more. I tried to call her again, but she never answered the phone. She just kept on sending messages and quotations, which I copied in a little notebook. Hopeless romantic? I didn't know. All I could say was that all the messages she sent me were wonderful, they came from the heart and cut through the heart.

"Though we r miles apart, u r always n my heart. I close my eyes & der u r. Even f I'll see u never, I'll always b hir 2 care 4 u, far longer dan 4ever..."

One December night, she sent me this message. By that time we had been exchanging messages for more than a month. God knew how happy I was. She was right. Although we had not seen each other, what we felt was enough to make us both realize what was keeping us together.

I sent her another message, "Loving u secretly is a hard thing 4 me 2 do,hoping, wondring that u will feel d same way 2, but I can't read r mind f u luv me 2. But whatever it is, I'll still be loving u."

"How I wish I cud really tell u how much u mean 2 me, but m afraid 2 love, scared 2 get hurt... I hope dat u will wait 4 me & pray dat u will not get tired of loving me...=)" was her reply.

And then I replied again. " The reason y I met u is bcoz of destiny but f destiny will suggest dat I'll live w/o u, den, I'll lie not by destiny but of free will."

Whenever I asked her when we would meet personally, she always answered, "Soon...soon, love...soon."

Not seeing each other did not lessen, even a bit, what I felt for her...rather, it even grew deeper and stronger each day. And I was sure, she felt the same way, too. Love messages continued to flow through our lines, between our hearts, which made us go on each day with the thought that sooner, we would see each other, face to face, heart to heart.

Just a few days before Christmas. She stopped sending messages. At first I just though she had ran out of prepaid.

But there was something that kept bothering me... I couldn't understand what was it, but it made me fell nervous. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer. Nevertheless, I continued sending messages.

Suddenly one night, just three days before Christmas. I heard my phone's message tone again... at last!It was from her!

"Oftentyms we say gudbye 2 d 1 we luv w/o wanting 2. Though dat doesn't mean dat we stopped loving dem or we stopped 2 care. Sometyms, GOODBYE is a painful way 2 say I LOVE YOU."

I was dumfounded. I didn't know what to think of. What did she mean? I texted her back, searching for answers, but found nothing. I called her but she would not answer.

For the first time in my life, I felt so miserable...desperate... empty. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose her. I had learned to love her. And I wanted to be with her forever.

The following days I felt nothing but emptiness. It seemed that Mikaella took the life out of me. I missed her so much...her messages...The tones that would tell me she'd sent another loving message. Nothing around me could feel the emptiness I felt.

Tut...tut...tut...tut...tut...just a day before Christmas, my cell beeped again. It was her!

"Meet me at d café, 10 AM 2day," I read aloud, making sure the message was true, then I jumped with joy upon hearing from her again. Hurriedly, I got myself ready and I went to the mall. I knew it was still early, but I wanted to be there before she arrived.

I arrived at the meeting place ten minutes earlier. I was surprised to see her already there, smiling at me. She was very beautiful, Black, deep-set eyes that spoke a thousand words; small, kissable lips; a nose perfectly chiseled and long black hair - everything in her was beautiful. And yes, her eyes radiated kindness and love...but there was a flicker of something in them...sadness?

"Hi, Julius," said the angelic voice I had been dreaming of each night. The voice that I had waited to hear for so long. "Please sit down." "I am very pleased to meet you, Mikaella," I said, as I took my seat and gave the roses I brought for her.

"Thanks, Julius," she smiled, obviously pleased with the roses. I knew she loved pink roses.

"You are always welcome, Love" "Julius, I can't stay," she said, sadness in her voice, or was it tears? "I really must go."

"But we just met, Mikaella. Can't we talk a little longer?" I asked, pleadingly.

"I can't really. I just came here to see you and thank you for the time you shared with me. Thank you for everything, Julius. I will never forget you...you will always be here in my heart."

She was looking at me straight into the eyes, and I could really feel the sadness in her voice and I swear, there was something in her voice and I swear, there was something in those lovely yet lonely eyes...

She got up and smiled at me, lovingly.

"Tomorrow morning, please come and visit me," he said and gave me a piece of white linen paper.

I read what was written and when I looked up, she was gone. The following day, Christmas, I woke up early and excitedly readied myself,thinking of her. I hurriedly went to flower shop and bought a dozen pink roses - for Mikaella.

They lived in an exclusive subdivision.

Upon reaching their house, I told the guard who I was and that I was looking for Mikaella.

The guard stared at me, sadness and amazement in his eyes and told me to wait as he called the owner of the house. As I looked at him while he was going inside the house, only then I noticed that the house was brightly lit.

A woman went out and walked towards me, smiling sadly.

"Hi, I'm Maria, Mikaella's mother. Please come inside, Julius." While we were walking towards the mansion, she explained to me why she knew me very well - Mikaella had always been talking about her friend, Julius. I hardly understood what she was saying. I was busy thinking why Mikaella's mother was crying while talking to me.

As we came near the great hall of the house, it dawned on me that there was a wake inside, Maybe, a relative passed away, I thought. But deep in my heart, I was trembling and afraid.

As we entered the hall where so many people were silently mourning while others were praying, shaking, I asked her mother. "Where is Mikaella?"

She held my hand and silently, led me to the coffin which was surrounded by flowers - pink roses, nothing but pinkroses.

No words could explain how I felt when I gazed at the coffin and saw who was lying there. The same beautiful girl I met...

A man came beside me, I knew he was Mika's father.

"We are so glad you came, Julius. Mika talked of you all the time. She even asked that her phone be buried with her.

She said that in that way, you could still send her messages and you would always be with her."

I couldn't believe everything... My mind was in limbo.

"But how can this be? We just saw each other yesterday."

"That can't possibly be. She passed away three days ago. She had been suffering from a heart disease since she was a child," said her father.

"But..." I couldn't find the words to say.

"She told us not to bother reaching you, "her mother said, still in tears," she said you will come, and here you are.

Pain and bitterness overwhelmed me. I cried silently beside her, staring at her lovely face, memorizing every line of my friend's face, a face I knew I would never forget while I was still alive.

After the internment that afternoon, I went to the chapel she had
told me she went everyday.

Sitting there praying and crying to God, I held my phone and typed: "U taught me how 2 care; u taught me how 2 b kind; u shwd me how 2 lyk som; u shwd me how 2 luv; but ders 1 thing didnt teach me & it hurts mor - u didnt teach me how 2 let go. I LOVE YOU"

I sent the message, and though I knew she wouldn't be able to hold her CP again, I knew in my heart she would get my message. I never expected a reply, yet as my phone beeped again,felt a shiver down my spine. The sender's number did not appear on the screen, and tears rolled down my cheeks as I read the message.

"Let go of d hand of d person u love, but dont let go of God's hand. 4 if u hold 2 his hand. He may b holding d person u love n d ader hand 2 let u hold each other again."

"I will never forget you, Mikaella and will never let go..." I vowed to her and to myself as I left the church.

December 9, 2008

Wishes. (:

u should watch it! so sweet, ohh, i wish i get sum1 lyk Reza Budiman! He is damn rmntc! wawawa,
sweet kan dorg? i do hope i'll be lyk Putri Farhana Aliya Datuk Megat Farizuddin, she got a damn sweet boyf, true friend, lovely mum, and "kaya". haih, but it just a hope en. eyh, btw, putri got a very best friend en, Mia Susanna Dean. i do have it too! (: jelous nye ble tgok putri and mia together2 en. dorg bestt sgt!
jum jadi mcm them!
true friend, be at her side in any situation.

with love,
PutriLuna. (:

December 7, 2008

stay close don't go.

hmm, smue da over now. yeah, im sad now, but what else i can do?
stay close, and please don't go.
but its impossible.
i will move on, i will, and of course i can. (:


I'm staring at the glass in front of me,
is it half empty of our wins or have i ruined all you've given me?
I know I've been selfish,
I know I've been foolish,
but look through that
and you will see,
I'll do better, I know,
Baby, I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone,
don't tell me I will make it on my own,
don't leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping,
I listen to your breathing,
amazed how I somehow managed to
sweep you off your feet girl,
your perfect little feet girl
I took for granted what you do.
But I'll do better, I know
Baby, I can do better.

If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone,
don't tell me I will make it on my own,
don't leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

And don't you know my heart is open, oh,
it's putting up the fight,
and I've got this feeling,
that everything's alright,
and don't you see,
I'm not the only one for you
but you're the only one for me.

If you leave me tonight I'll wake up alone,

(stay)If you leave me tonight,
(close) I'll wake up alone,
(don't)don't tell me I will
(go)make it on my own,
(stay)don't leave me tonight,
(close)this heart of stone
(don't) will sing till it dies
(go)if you leave me tonight.
Don't leave me tonight!

but, u da leave me last night. (;

will be fine.

December 6, 2008


i miss u, did u miss me lyk i miss u? da a week. hmm.

December 5, 2008


just a few minutes ago, i on phone wif mia! wink* wink*, agak mengimbau kenangan lame lahh, dr stu i noe, a lott of ppl yg hate me. ;P , bialahh. yg taleh blah nye en, dat ppl leh wat biase ngn luna aww. funny en, othrs ppl ckp, dorg takowt luna. hahaha. cn u imgne, a 3 years wif plastic face, yg i treat them as a gud friend? ahaha, perlu keh i sebut nme uh. ntahh, bia luna pk dlu.

Scene 1 ; Whole Year 2006 ; 2Amanah.
they are really plastic aw, infront of me, sumpah, semua macam suka je kat luna, but belakang? haihh, and word yang paling menusuk kalbu yang people ngutuk luna is, "Fatin (mia), kenapa awak rapat sangat Zulaiha (luna) tuh? aku tengok korang uh berbeza sangat, dia uh selalu bully awak". kalau u all kena macam i kena cam mana? i tak tahu lah, bila i membuli, and i pernah tanya mia, mia sendiri pun tak pernah rasapun diri nye dibuli. sumtyme ada lah, i mintak tolong pegang en, but tade lah membuli. mia ckp en, dorang takot luna, ;D , depan luna, semua macam sokong je luna, and yang tak sedap nak dengar dorang cuba nak jatuh en luna.

Scene 2 ; March / April 2007 ; 3Amanah.
dulu en, ade lah sesi pergaduhan besar diantara mia and her bestf lah kan. and kebetulan, dia migrain taw, then i pun cakap lahh, tak payah lah nak berlakon, replace orang lah, i just risau en dia. then, amirah cakap kat others en, i yang hasut mia, cuz i nak rebut mia from them?! WTH! macam vavivo kn! + dorang gaduh bukan i yang cetuskan.

Scene 3 ; October / November 2007 ; Bangi Golf Resort.
banyak yang berlaku weii. ;) at dat tym, i nampak semua kebenaran, siapa kawan siapa lawan. terima kasih kerana menyedarkan saya.

people, hate me as long as u want.
i dont caree.

December 4, 2008


i ta saba ngn my bday? hell no lahh. evry year i wish, my bday will clbrte at SportPlanet, Ampang. OMG, i love that place damn muchh! n theme at dat day is pink? purple lahh. sgt bestt syg! but, i just a dream lah en. (:

i wish i got all of this.

1. Title ; By The time You Read This.
Author ; Jaye , Lola.
Price ; 36.90

2. Title ; Special Delivery.
Author ;
Barnes, Zoe.
Price ; 69.90

3. Title ; Banana Splitsville.
Author ;
Clark, Catherine
Price ; 19.90

4. Title ; Miss Educated.
Author ;
Price ; 32.90

5. Tiltle ;
A Year in Europe (Three Novels)
Author ;
Hawthorne, Rachel
Price ; 29.90

luna tawu smue buku agakk classic ah en. but i nk gak!
nk beli malass. ;p
hope fo bday prsnt je lahh.

December 3, 2008

last night.

1. Crying, Insomnia
2. Miss my besf!
3. Ckp sensorg!
4. Tgok my old album
5. Need my lovely guardian angel.

my last night is totally crying night!

December 1, 2008


now en, i rse takowt sgt, takowt ajal luna nk dekat, haih, luna tawu ta baek ckp cum uh, but tu la yg luna rse now, hmm, cum dlm paper today, 2 org meninggal bcuz of tanah runtuh, bnde cum uh taleh xpax kn? dak uh same age wif me lak uh, n kebetulan bestf mia. haih, malang ta berbau, ajal taleh di agak en, pape pn, Al- Fatihah fo both of them.

ntahh, i rse len now, lg ² ble dega doc ckp. haihh, hati luna riso sgt now, i takowt i ta dpt hdup lme kdg ² , dose luna bykk ag, :( , serious now, i gyle takot. ajal n maut uh kite tatao kn? yg kite leh wat now, keep praying and praying. if i die did my bestf gonna be sad? sumtym i ta rse pn they gonna be sad, :'(

but i hope they not sad la. sbb i dun want them to cry fo me, haih, kwn² if sumthing happen to me, please, i beg to u, dun cry, luna tamao sekse korg, lg pn im not gud fren. tayah nges, just fogve wateva i do to u. (': thanks sgt korg cuz be my fren, all of u're my bestf, evnthgh u talayan pn luna. sblom nieh myb i jarang ckp kt korg n now, i want tell u all ;

U Are The Best!
I Love You!

klw pape jd kt luna, please, halal kn smue makan minum luna, ilmu yg korg bg, all laa. (: maaf kan smue salah² luna, doa kan luna, n jan pena lupe luna taw. (; ntha, when i wrte this blog, i nges, da meleleh la air mate. Friends i love u la!

fo my bestf,
miera, mia, feeta, kinah, hani, fara, seha, nisha, sara, QQ, zaqwan.
i really love you!
fo my frens,
amanians,all my frens, and my cousin.
thnks fo evrytngs!

with a lott of loves,
luna, (;